How stomach surgery is like being pregnant
I know, I know, you all are sick and tired of hearing about my little surgery. I cannot help it. When you have nothing better to do than lay around the house for 4 days, things to blog about become pretty scarce. So bear with me a little longer.
I have noticed that this umbilical hernia surgery has a lot of side effects that are reminiscent of being pregnant.
- You find yourself resting your hand on your tummy
- Pregnancy: In awe of the miracle of life and to protect your precious, little one
- Surgery: To protect your wound from your precious, little one you gave birth to a year ago and from exuberant dogs who like to jump up on the couch
- When you walk, you waddle a little
- Pregnancy: There’s so much going on in the front, that you cannot help it
- Surgery: It is the most comfortable way to walk without moving your stomach muscles
- Your belly sticks out, because there is no way you can suck in the flab
- Pregnancy: There is no room for the extra flab to suck into
- Surgery: Heck, you just wish they would have removed some of the extra flab when they cut you open
- If you are constipated, you cannot “push” to help things along their merry way
- Pregnancy: For fear of hemorroids
- Surgery: Didn’t you just have that hernia, that was a result of pushing during childbirth, removed on Monday?
- Your belly itches like all get-out
- Pregnancy: Stretch Marks. Those buggers kept me up at night with their infernal itching
- When the incision starts to heal, it itches like crazy. But my loving husband tells me this is a good thing as that means it is healing.