As a mom, I think one of the hardest things is to watch one of your children struggle.
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Today was the first day of music camp and Bree was having a rough time at drop off. I watched her anxiety ramp up as the noise level of the many kids arriving increased. Then she was upset because she wasn’t able to finish coloring her picture of the United States flag because it was time to move on to the next activity. (Calmed her down when we gave it to her teacher so she could finish later.) The mention of fire (the theme is The Olympics and they are having an “Olympic Torch”) provoked a scared squeal and an exercise song sent her prostrate to the floor like she often does when she is overwhelmed in general, most likely caused by all the kids near moving around doing the exercises. Her teacher helped her up and explained what they were doing and then she was happily participating. Then anxiety over a kazoo had her crying because she didn’t remember how to use it. So I demonstrated for her and then she happily tooted the kazoo along with everyone else.
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I stayed for 30 minutes until the individual classes split up and went to their separate rooms where I think it will be quieter and easier for her. And her teacher and the director are aware of her difficulties and I gave them some advice prior to camp on how to help her be successful there. But I still dread getting a phone call that I have to come pick her up.
Thankfully, it did get easier. When I picked her up, she was very chatty about all the fun things she had done during camp. *sigh of relief* I imagine she still had her moments of difficulty, but she made it through the entire day. Progress.
I worry for my sweet, sensitive Breezy girl. It’s hard to envision how things will be as she gets older. But I need to remember just how FAR she’s come. Though she did lay prostrate on the ground for a bit today (not in a tantrum, just blocking out the world and calming down), overcome with anxiety and sensory overload, I was reminded that she hasn’t done that very often lately, whereas she used to do it EVERY time we went anywhere (mall, school, a friend’s house). Progress.
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I do everything I can to lessen her anxiety by trying to explain what to expect or how we will work to keep her safe the different things she fears, but there is still just so.much.anxiety. I wish I could take her anxiety away.