Fear and Faith

Now that I am a mother, I have all kinds of new fears and anxieties. The first and foremost is that of SIDS. I think the thing that scares me the most about SIDS is that the experts still do not definitively know what causes it. They have a lot of precautions you can take to reduce the chances (which I am following diligently), but I still feel that there is that slight chance. And not knowing what could cause it really makes me feel out of control and fearful that it could happen.

It is amazing how much love I feel for this little baby who, so far, really cannot reciprocate in return. I cannot quit gazing at her beautiful face. At night, I stay up much later than I should just listening to her breathe and watching her sleep. She is so precious to me. I cannot believe she is mine.

I also have a stronger desire to work on my devotional life as well. I have known for some time that it has been lacking and have wanted to fix that. Having Adrianna has really been the kick in the pants that I have needed. I have started reading my Bible again. I really want to raise her in a Christian home. One that is Christian not in word only but also in deed and example. Such a responsibility that is! I sure hope I can live up to that.

Below are some verses that I have found comfort in this past week as I worry over things out of my control.

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer…
But know that the LORD has set apart the godly man for Himself; The LORD hears when I call to Him.
Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD.
Many are saying, ‘Who will show us any good?’ Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O LORD!
You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:1-8

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3 Responses

  1. Karen says:

    Hey Amber! I feel ya with the devotional thing…mine isn’t NEAR what it should be…

    On another note…thanks for getting me started with Liz Curtis Higg’s books! I finished “Thorn in my Heart,” (not without my share of tears) and have already started on “Fair is the Rose.” I’m already hooked on the second book, and can’t wait to get home to read it some more! Love you!

  2. janis says:

    It is good you have started to read the bible again. I have found that to be so important. It is habit now for me. even if i just read a verse or two each day. I like to read first thing in the morning. but with a new baby you will have to read when ever you get a chance 🙂 I have read the bible all the way through if I count the reading Cindy and I did together of the new testament. That was in my King James Bible, My study bible is a little different as it has alot of helpful information before each chapter so I have continued in it also and am almost done with it too. I plan to read all the way through the bible over and over again as long as God allows me too on this earth 🙂 I usually say my prayers at night and sometimes fall asleep before I am done. Unless there is something that is really bothering me then I will just get on my knees and pray right then. The hardest part is letting God work it out for me. I keep fretting and trying to work things out on my own. I guess that will always be a stuggle. Having a baby really does change your life and your thinking. The love a mother feels for her child can not be compared to any other love in my opinion. It is such a strong love like no other.

  3. dad says:

    Amber, the baby pic thumbnails on your web page don’t all link to the larger pics. just FYI

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