This story actually came from an email forward that I got from my Grandma today. It is so funny that I just had to share it. I do not know the name of the original author.<\/p>\n
If you have children you will probably relate to this father.<\/p>\n
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.<\/p>\n
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.<\/p>\n
“Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,” she said.<\/p>\n
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.<\/p>\n
I love mustard.<\/p>\n
I had no napkin.<\/p>\n
I licked it off.<\/p>\n
It was not mustard.<\/p>\n
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.<\/p>\n
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, “Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . . “Poupon.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This story actually came from an email forward that I got from my Grandma today. It is so funny that I just had to share it. I do not know the name of the original author. If you have children you will probably relate to this father. As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun-stuff","category-our-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/noreimerreason.com\/amberandgreg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}