Yesterday, June 22nd, was the due date for our 2nd child. A flood of emotions has overwhelmed me as I try to imagine what our life would be like right now if I wouldn’t have had a miscarriage, while at the same time I am trying not to think too much about it.

In spite of the sadness that is still there, I am doing okay right now. But I am hugging Adrianna a little closer, a little longer, and a little tighter these days. I am so thankful for the wonderful child I do have and for my supportive husband.

Anyways, after my miscarriage in November I made a scrapbook page using one of our ultrasound pictures. Though it took me two days and I cried the entire time, it was a healing moment for me. I made a WordArt of Isaiah 49:1 for the page that I would like to share. I think this verse is encouraging for both expectant mothers in good, healthy situations or for those grieving the loss of a child.

My Scrapbook Page:

Credits: Paper & Elements from Shabby Princess‘ Urban Kiwi Kit

Click on the Word Art preview to be taken my no-wait download page.

Thank you for letting me share with you.

To my precious little baby,

You weren’t with us long, but oh how much you were loved by your Daddy and I. We were amazed to see your heart beating at only 6 weeks. When we got the news yesterday (at 8.5 weeks) that you had left us to live in heaven, we were overwhelmed with sadness that we would not get to hold you in our arms. But know that we hold you in our hearts and I know that you are with your Creator who has called you by name even before your birth and He loves you even more than we do. Because of this hope, I know that we will meet again in heaven. Until then, we love you.

Credits: Paper & Elements from Shabby Princess‘ Urban Kiwi Kit

I had five private postings over the last month regarding our pregnancy and its complications. I have made them public now that our family knows what is going on. They can be found by clicking on the “Our Second Child” Category.

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I have been having heavy bleeding since Friday (today’s Monday) so we went to the doctor again to get another checkup. It started out very unsettling, as they tried to do a regular ultrasound and couldn’t see the baby. They didn’t have a tech at the office today who could do a vaginal one, so they sent us downstairs. After a long wait, we got another ultrasound, this one vaginal. It was more than a little embarrassing since I was bleeding so much. (So was the urine sample that I had to give, which ended up being more red than yellow.)

Anyways, they were able to determine that the baby is still there and the heartbeat is still going too. What relief! They also saw what is causing the bleeding; something they called a Subchorionic Hemorrhage. This is basically bleeding behind the placenta, often caused by a blood clot. The complication that this can cause is that it can cause the baby’s sac to detach from the uterus and miscarry. But the doctor said I had a 60% chance that it would be okay. I am hanging on to that hope. We really want this baby.

So now all we can do is wait and take it easy. I am going to stay off my feet as much as possible and work from home. If the bleeding continues this heavy, we will go back on Thursday. If it lightens up to spotting and then starts in heavy again, we go back as well. Otherwise, my next appointment is in two weeks. I guess we will take this one day at a time.

I am so glad the little baby is hanging in there.

I have been spotting for a week and a half. This past Tuesday, it was fresh blood, so I became concerned and scheduled a doctor’s appointment. We went in this morning. I wasn’t bleeding at the time; that usually starts in the afternoon after I have been on my feet for awhile. Anyways, we had an internal ultrasound and got to see the baby. Not much to see yet at only 6.5 weeks, but we did get to see the heart beating. Everything measured out fine as well. So I was feeling much encouraged. Until this afternoon.

This afternoon I started bleeding. Like actual bleeding, more than just spotting. Had I not already known I was pregnant, I would just have assumed this was a regular period type of bleeding. And fresh blood. After several hours of this, I called the on-call service, sobbing. The doctor called me back. Long story short; there isn’t anything they can do for me at this point if I am miscarrying. I really hope I am not. I want this baby very much. I am already excited to meet him or her. Adrianna’s little brother or sister. I am going to take it easy this weekend and hope that helps, since there isn’t anything I can do. Nothing but wait. The waiting and not knowing is going to be really tough.

So we had our first doctor appointment for baby #2. Sure enough, I am pregnant! Greg and I are both so excited. The baby’s due date is June 22nd, 2008.

Today when I got home from work, I noticed I had some spotting. I didn’t have that with our first child, so I was quite concerned. After talking with a nurse at my new doctor’s office, I feel much better. Apparently a little blood is normal, as long as it isn’t bright red or as heavy as a period would be. I haven’t had any more since that initial bit this afternoon, so I think everything is okay.

I am three days late, so I took a pregnancy test today. The positive sign on this test is supposed to look like a “+” sign. A plus sign did come up, but the vertical line was very faint, so I tried not to get my hopes up too much. I did tell Greg about it. We have been trying for a while now and I was getting concerned that it wasn’t going to happen. For the last three days, every time I have gone to the bathroom and still hadn’t started my period, I would breathe a sigh of relief and pray that maybe I would finally be pregnant again.

I just checked the test again. It has been four hours since I took it. Now the + sign is darker. Hooray! Now I am excited. I ran up to show Greg, and he is excited too. I will take another test tomorrow, but it looks like we are going to have another baby!