My food is no longer my own
Adrianna is becoming more interested in our food. We have been slowly adding “big-girl” food to her meals; she is a big fan of mac-n-cheese and girl cheese (grilled cheese).
We often feed her dinner before we eat our own dinner, as a matter of convenience. I feed her dinner and then leave her sitting in her high chair and give her some finger foods to munch on while I cook dinner for Greg and I. But now, Adrianna is starting to reach for my food when I am eating. The other day I was eating fish sticks (yummy!) and she wouldn’t leave me alone until I gave her some. Maybe by my giving away part of my dinner, this will be a good way to lose weight? If only I could be so lucky.
On the other hand, while I am learning to share my meals, I am also trying to familiarize myself to the idea that my body is my own again; no more breastfeeding. If I have a headache, I can take an ibuprofin without having to worry about any of the ramifications of it getting to Adrianna. If I am sick, I can take prescription drugs to make myself feel better. After almost 18 months of being either pregnant or breastfeeding, I am still getting used to having the freedom of being able to put all these great substances back into my body again. Oh, joy. Such a liberating feeling!
At the same time though, as much as I would like to fool myself into believing it to be so, my body is still not my own. Though I can ingest whatever I want now without worry of it harming Adrianna, my body remains her personal mommy-gym. I seem to constantly have scratches on my face from her little, explorative hands sticking her little fingers up my nose, in my mouth, in my ears, or from her vigorously patting my face or trying to grab my earrings. Whenever I lie on the floor, I must project some kind of homing-beacon to Adrianna that says, “Crawl on me! Pull yourself up on me! Come on, it is fun to play on your own personal mommy-gym! Your gym comes with the ability to withstand any push, pull, tug, or hit that you can muster. Energy not included.” My shirts often seem to mysteriously develop little booger and drool stains too after these encounters, and I am fairly certain that they are not coming from me.
(P.S. Don’t worry mom – I still take ibuprofin in moderation and I make sure to alternate it with Tylenol so that neither one builds up in my system.)