In less than a couple months, Greg has the opportunity (through work) to fly out to California for a web design conference. I would really like to go with him. Of course I would have to pay for myself, but it would be so awesome to go. I have never been to California and I am sure it will be warmer there than it is here.
But I am conflicted, for as badly as I want to go with Greg I also am scared about leaving Adrianna. My mom already offered to watch her, so she would be with someone I trust and who loves her. But for a whole 5 days? Yikes. The longest I have ever left her anywhere was for maybe 4-5 hours max. I am afraid that I would be too worried about her to have a good time. That does run in the family after all. When I was about a year old, my dad drove out to Colorado Springs from Indiana for a vacation. My mom flew out to be with him. She was so worried about me and missed me so much that, even though my aunt was watching me, she flew back that same night or the following day. (She cannot remember which, but it was right away.)
Another thing I need to think about if I were to leave Adrianna is the whole nursing thing. I never really have had a set plan about how long I would nurse, but in the back of my mind I always thought that I would aim for a year since that is the recommendation by the American Association of Pediatrics. Adrianna will only be about 9 months old when the trip is to take place. I have already cut her breastfeeding sessions down to about 2 or 3 a day, but I just am not ready to cut them out completely.
I am so torn. On one hand, it would be heaven to have so much time with Greg. Granted, he would be gone each day at the conference, but we would still have plenty of time in the evenings to hang out. And to get uninterrupted sleep. Oh, what bliss that would be. I haven’t gotten 8 straight hours of sleep since maybe the first couple months of my pregnancy. Over a year ago. But staring at me from the other hand is my darling baby girl whom I just don’t think I can bear leaving for that long without completely losing myself to worry and stress. So when is that next flight back to Denver?