Fear and Faith
Now that I am a mother, I have all kinds of new fears and anxieties. The first and foremost is that of SIDS. I think the thing that scares me the most about SIDS is that the experts still do not definitively know what causes it. They have a lot of precautions you can take to reduce the chances (which I am following diligently), but I still feel that there is that slight chance. And not knowing what could cause it really makes me feel out of control and fearful that it could happen.
It is amazing how much love I feel for this little baby who, so far, really cannot reciprocate in return. I cannot quit gazing at her beautiful face. At night, I stay up much later than I should just listening to her breathe and watching her sleep. She is so precious to me. I cannot believe she is mine.
I also have a stronger desire to work on my devotional life as well. I have known for some time that it has been lacking and have wanted to fix that. Having Adrianna has really been the kick in the pants that I have needed. I have started reading my Bible again. I really want to raise her in a Christian home. One that is Christian not in word only but also in deed and example. Such a responsibility that is! I sure hope I can live up to that.
Below are some verses that I have found comfort in this past week as I worry over things out of my control.
Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer…
But know that the LORD has set apart the godly man for Himself; The LORD hears when I call to Him.
Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD.
Many are saying, ‘Who will show us any good?’ Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O LORD!
You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.